Today I am waiting for rain. 

Not because its cloudy, just because I miss the rain...a nice, drenching rain. 

I like to stand outside in the rain sometimes and feel the stinging raindrops hit my skin...especially when it rains hard. The fat drops crash and splatter on my skin, creating wonderful patterns. 
Sometimes I can visualize the raindrops hitting my skin...I can see the patterns they make, the round circle of clearness at the point of impact and the circle of smaller drops. Its almost an out of body experience, as if I could see each drop individually yet at the same time...in slow motion...is this what meditation is  like?

 It should be.

Thunderstorms are my favorite. I love to feel the thunder reverberating through me as it sounds. A deep primal sound. It makes me feel one with the world. As if just for an instant I am in tune with the earth's heartbeat. A precious instant of oneness. 
The sound of rain is just as wonderful. There is a stillness in the chaos of falling raindrops. The earth seems to almost sigh. 
The leaves are in a hushed cacophany of sound. They seem to whisper and chatter and laugh all at the same time.

I like the smell of the rain the most. 
Its like the world's laundry day.
The smell of the earth, the leaves, and a tangy otherness that I can't quite put my fingers on. 

I feel clean when it rains...the coldness quickens my breath and I feel like I'm born again...struggling for breath. 
                                                                                                                                                                                                             Renewed. 

As I sat, sleepless once again, I began my usual random trackless thoughts. And suddenly I began to contemplate souls. Souls are strange things, each of us can percieve the souls of others, but souls, to me at least, seem to exsist in a multifacited, multidementional form. Each person has a different perception of someone else's soul, but it is only a glimpse of the whole, and as our understanding of a person changes, so does our perception. But that is only part of the problem. For you see, each of us look at and judge different aspects of a person. So in addition to what little we do see of a person's soul, we each also have a different lens through which we percieve and interperate what we see. 

Then I started thinking about what my friends' souls are like. I started thinking about the different aspects of my friends, and somethings just felt...right for them. When I think about my friends, I don't use words, I hardly ever use words in my thoughts or dreams. I think about who they are, not even their actions...but more of what I feel when I'm around them, their aura...

Here is what I percieve to be the of one of my best friends...

Her color is maroon, but it has deeper purples tinged with blue mixed in as well. It swirls with deeper tones of warm chocolatey browns, and flecks of gold and bronze floating irredecently on the surface. 
She sounds like brass bells, and cellos. Sometimes also like ocean at low tide. It sings. Like a starling.
Her soul smells like lilacs after a light rain, and warm like spicy apple cider. The smells ebb and flow, melting into each other. 
She tastes like, vintage wine, mellow and intoxicating, sweet. She taste...oval...roundish, smooth, yet unique. 
Her feel is that of satin, and marble, and soft mist. 

She embraces, yet is untouchable. She is vunerable, but with surprising inner strength. She captivates and entertains, ever changing, never the same. She is classic, yet original. She is victorian, but defies its rules. She is grace and feminimity personified, without being insincere and artificial. I feel oafish around her because she seems so delicate. She is brave, braver than I at times. She is outgoing and social, at the same time, shy and demure. Her intellect is as sharp as a rapier and she is not afraid to wield it as such. Our intellectual sparing leaves me always thirsting for more. 

You know who you are XD 
if you're ever feeling down, just recall what i see in your soul :3